Spinner

Spector Witness Punkin Pie Denies Saying He Should Fry

The Spinner Spector Detector® is not only bringing you its gavel-to-gavel coverage of the Trial of the (Six-and-a-Half-Year-Old) Millennium, it dutifully reports, without taking sides or leaving any stone unturned, all the cogent details in Phil Spector's fight for acquittal for the murder of Lana Clarkson. The defense's entire case, so far, is to speculate that a possibly depressed Clarkson allowed herself to be picked up by Spector in order for her to get inside his mansion so she can off herself with his gun. (Poor dear, to have to resort to such measures! There must be no pills in her medicine cabinet and only a hot plate in her evidently oven-free kitchenette.)

Among the defense witnesses who have been queuing to testify that the b-movie actress may have been so down-and-out she would go on a date with Phil Spector kill herself in Phil Spector's home is one Punkin Irene Elizabeth Laughlin, known to all by her street name, "Punkin Pie." Ms. Pie, a close friend of the deceased, testified for the defense that Clarkson was highly despondent in her final days. The smashing Punkin's testimony was immediately challenged by prosecutor Alan Jackson, who countered that the witness had earlier stated to an acquaintance, "We need to fry that bastard for killing Lana Clarkson." In response, she denied making such a statement, that testifying Punkin Pie.

[Editor's Note: I apologize for the forced syntax of the preceding sentence; just knowing this was one of my last opportunities to write "Punkin Pie" made me throw caution to the wind regarding Punkin Pie. Punkin Pie! Punkin Pie! Punkin Pie! OK, I'm good.]

However, demonstrating there actually are some sort of standards for witnesses at this trial, especially those with spelling-challenged names, Judge Larry Paul Fidler has prohibited notorious madam Jody "Babydol" [sic] Gibson from claiming in court that Clarkson was in her employ as a call girl. No worries: If Spector happens to be acquitted, we anticipate his production of a track called 'Punkin Pie 'n Babydol' -- the misspellings, matched with this tale of ho's and gats and music and murder, guarantees hip-hop success.

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peej

Punkin Pie got busted as a LIAR when that Christmas letter surfaced... Kessel who is part owner in the backstage where pie does her Thing, spoke out after the mistrial on phil's behalf... what is wrong with people? Pie is an old hag whos been rode hard, put out wet and dried in the hot sun - she probably hung out with lana just to get Lana's leftovers...

September 30 2007 at 8:17 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
jennifer pruitt

pie you are one ugly B.....! With friends like you who needs enemies, it is clear that you were jealous of Lana, and that you are getting something out of Phil Spector, just how can you sleep at night, knowing that you sold Lana out!! You don't deserve to even call Lana your friend, amd I hope that you are haunted by the fact that you are a Liar and a poor excuse for a human being...just like Phil is!

September 13 2007 at 11:49 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Joni

With friends like Punkin Pie the only thing that could happen to you that would be worse is running into that litle creep Phil Spector. Pie is disgusting. Her name she gave herself is fitting though, Punkin Pie..fat-filled, unhealthy, not your friend and should be passed by. Joni

August 27 2007 at 3:03 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Laura Phillips

Punkin Pie was lana's best friend. Shes knows Lana better than her own family did. Laura Phillips

July 22 2007 at 7:06 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply